Mentally drained..

God i am turning mad soon..

I am so tired inside..

I need all the extra strength to continue on...

I dislike acting so strong and ok when i am not...

Sometimes its good to let go of tears,and just cry your heart out when u are tired isn't it...

Suddenly feel everything am going in the opp direction..

I am like a weird freak going in the opp way againist the flow..

I am starting to be so apart from reality when everything i know...

is just work work and work...

So many shit these days making me very tired..

I am walking on with so many burdens..its getting unbearable..

Its time i let go..stop acting so strong when i not...

God i tired..till sometimes i believe its my limit to everything..

I need a break..Can someone just at least understand me...

I just need a peace of mind..this is the least i ask........

Seriously....I..am..very...tired..mentally.

Those were the times...date 2008 Oct

i miss miss miss miss miss times many misses...my batch mates..I accidentally got this pic from my one of the batch mates FB..haiz..so many memories,yet all seem so far away......Wonder how each and everyone of them are doing..wonder how the bitches in silkair are still living there not...If they are...Pray hard that all the bitches stay away from my batch mates..Well..as i am getting on with my life after i left..though life may goes on as it is..To me,some things are just so hard to forget..Its all the memories that i afraid,even in my late eighties..ha..i still wont allow myself to forget...May God blessed all the good people in life..Love u batch 76.

Behind the faces..

I am angry..

Yes..

The feeling of being wrong is super suxy..

Its worse when the person keep inisting i said that..

No time for explanations..

I should just shut my mouth,and practice silence.

What all the shit it is..when you just have to accept things as it is,and pretend nothing wrong.

Smile it through..

I will be more careful next time..

Just perform formality,and cut out all the friendliness..

I should just do that.

10th Feb i accept an intivation...

Wonder how it goes.

A Very Tired but..Happy Day(:

OmG...I am so full now as i am blogging away here!!Just meet up with charlene,bao fang and wendy chai today..Had such a fun time with them..HAhaha..And its been soooo long i have seen charlene..OMG la~!5yrs le ba..Glad that we finally meet up today.She gone for study at aust and now back for a break then fly back again..LOL.

Yupz..Went for shopping at bugis village today with them..Shop for new yr clothes actually..For once,surprisingly,i found clothes i like there!Haa..Cheap cheap too..Unlike last time i always think expensive is always good..(-.-)"'..really wonder what i was thinking last time..Really,after i left silkair..i somehow change in my own character and thinkings.Money earn as a cabin crew was never never easy then..I totally will think twice and thrice as i spent now...

So today was very happening as we practically search the whole of bugis village upside down..Not wasting any bit of good deals in the little corner of each shops..LOL.In the end,wendy is the one who grab all the cheap deals and spent around 50 bucks in all..Charlene too bought a few..Well,as for bao fang..her main goal is only cardigan today..LOL.After which...maKan Time!!We went for a feast at the amk famous crabs!!haha..i shall let the pictures do all the talking..Rite now i am actually quite tired,with a bloated stomach..

Changes....

Shit la...I am starting to hate this pathetic auntie look of me..i m like making excuses for myself ever since i quit silkair..Not an air stewardess le..why bother etc..till now i am quite sick of looking at the messy me in the mirror everytime.I look bloody hell:MEssy..ugLy..make-up less..plain old lady!Yes..I am this disgusted of myself now.

And my hair!omg..Last time i care about it so much..Now its like a bunch of seaweed sticking on my head...Its getting so horrible that i myself have been so busy all these while..until recently i have had enough.I am in the kids industry now..i think all the kids will start running off soon from me..

I suddenly tell myself..2010 resolution,I have to get back my vain me again..Now i am like a heck care old lady~...This is not getting anywhere..Seriously,i hate this me now.What happen to me........No life,no look..no nothing..Everyday is just work..work..and work~!!!

looking like this soon..if i dun care of myself..

觉得。。。

不去想反而更快乐。。
人总是有太多烦恼。。。

突然觉得。。为何要一直比交？
越是不在乎。。其实越在乎。

做自己。。快乐的事。。
有时也是一种简单的快乐。。

我觉得幸福是自己找的。

是时候。。想想自己的事，放下无味的，又多余的烦恼。

开心点吧。。惠。


五月。。去香港。。？？

The ugly truth.

And so on the 1st date of a new year,i learnt..yupz.
No matter how much you do...ppl will nv be contented.
Its after all not about how much effort you tried even...
the reality of it is...how much ppl appreciate you..nope.
Its okay to have the nastiest day on a day..
but it hurts alot when even the closest ones,may not even bother or understands..
God i tried..
i tried so hard till sometimes it hurt.
Maybe i tried it in a wrong way i dun know..
i just know no one understands me.
i am devastated on this very 1st day of the year to realize the ugly truth of life.
Its alright..Really it is...So now i know about truth..and this is it.
i reflect on what i had been tru in 2009...
i fall..climb..fall back there alone...
been tru all the humiliations,and so its alright i tell myself..
But i will nv endure when u tried with so much
effort,yet ppl closest to u treat u like shit..
When kindness is being seen like a shit...its time i pay back equally..
Please do not ever think i will always be the person u will always think and always be there to help so willingly..
When i finally know how ugly
things are,u be sorry i am this nasty.