Holding On..to nothing..

You thought you have a world lots of things..
in fact...
its nothing..

Grabbing on to dreams..
letting go the next...

watching at what i achieve..
yet again are all those memories..
its been like that..like always isnt it.

its just so unreal..

Yes,in life we always strive and go what is best..
Or rather what we thought it is..
making the right choice is another thing.

And deep down..i still knw i must go back to what i love..
its sooner or later...
i truly love what i did..then
i dun care who likes or dislike..
for i only knw,i hate...

Living in memories everyday..
It may be the most poor state i am in then..
but i m the most happiest person then.

Going back doesnt mean nothing or wanting to gain something.
It means i have a clearer mind now.
Yes..God please bless me..i need more courage now.thank you...

Huge Dream..Huge Courage..

New start new beginning..Yes,deep down i am excited..((: Cant wait to see MBS open and be the first batch to do the battle..This few weeks has been training training..and training.Time passed just like that and its the 2nd week of training already..Meet all sorts of ppl..friends..All really am from all walks of life.Be it like a pregrant mummy..an ex accountant..an ex zoo keeper..an ex cabin crew with SQ for 6yrs..All sorts.Really AM ALL SORTS..Personally feelings this week..

Its been like a roller coaster ride..all mixed feelings.The stress of going for so many role plays..Some are really a huge challenge.All hotel terms..All weird codes to rmbr..I was like WTH..However..i believe this is it.As time passes by,i realise i like it.I ACTUALLY like it..lol..I find everything tough but i am very curious to know more..Cus its a huge operation,i am amazed by how things will run further down the road.Its nv enough..lol..Everyday new things..new terms..(:The managers are quite friendly and fun group of ppl too..(Well i hope it doesnt just appear to be..lol)So right now its having myself mentally prepared..

And you know what..when i'm young..i dreamt of bigger dreams..I never imagine myself being a hotelian..This one is huge and a big courage is needed..I hope for the best and may i passed the test!!(yes,i will be tested)

前世今生...Do you believe in it??I do.

Ever walking on the streets or meeting someone you knew in ur heart..

The person am so familiar to you,yet..u just cant explain why..

It may be the 1st ever meeting..

The above clip is one of the 前世今生大解謎 taiwanese show..
Ystdy spent the whole day looking through all the 前世今生 shows..
U will cant help but ponder.."Yes..Everyone does have 前世 afterall..."
Its just so surreal isn't it??

Just by looking at the one of the many examples of the above clips..
Do you have goosebumps??I did after i watched..with so many different others
of the clips...it just nv fail to give me this amazing chills...
Suddenly really feel like knowing my 前世..So that mistakes wont be make..its the cycle..wat we did in the past,things will just happen over and over again..

unless...
we know the meaning of really letting go..For Good.

红蜻蜓..memories((:

If you got the chance to choose...

would you rather have the chance to live your past once more..

change it like the way you want it to..change it,all the history..

Let it be flawless like you want it...

Let there be no more pain...

Staying away from those who are mean to you before...

WOuld you?...I dont know why all the sudden random thoughts,..but..

I think..really think i wouldn't want to change anything.

I am thankful..Met so many amazing ppl along the way..

Even the nastiest has made me a really strong person.

Sometimes,it is when you fall...

you will know the meaning of hurt,and tell yourself..

Nv ever am i making the same mistakes again.((:

This below song has so many 感触。。。By chance my workmate tell me about this song..

红蜻蜓 damn classic..hear it((:

Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah

This guy Jeff Buckley is amazing...He's not around anymore but happen to hear his version of Hallelujah...Damn nice la..Hear it..U will love the way he sings this song with so much emotions..((:

Anyway..Updates updates!!Today my off day..So,went off to Orchard wif QL..Hee~!As usual with her i will sure shop for makeup.And i bought my Channel makeup powder i want all along..Hee..Look tru a few shoe shops we fancy..And my next aim for my next pay is buy a pair of new shoe!Hee..15th March most prob will start the new job..Quite excited and scared at the same time..By the time i wont have so much worry with money issue then..i guess....quick update..and after blogging away,i shall go play my new sims 3 ad game i buy~!!wahahha~~

New Year,New Start..New Hope.Care No One Thoughts But Yours.

Just be myself...go for it..Yupz.I learnt along the way..fall along the way..Right now i am ever so clear of what i want in life...I have stopped searching..((:

And this CNY is a good one this year..Things seem to be smoother and family issue has tone down abit...For once i feel more like a "family" this CNY..Deep down i am very contented..I realized i can be so easily happy..lol..Maybe this may be a good year for rabbit afterall.I pray hard Lady Luck cmpy me all the way.((:

Alright..some photos to update along the way..To me life is short..Capture all the important memories..Forget the unhappy ones and move on..New year,new start..new hope..Be it just a little hope..we live each day with a thankful heart..Well,for me..i do,and always will.


Me and my cutie 6yrs cousin..he insist he pose this way..LOL













Sometimes...

Simple things..

Can make me happy

the whole day..

(((:

Be myself

To face it straight in face...

Its time i should just...not hide all the feelings in me all the time.

I hate to pleased everyone...

I am not a perfectionist...so dont ever force me to be one..

Tired of just all the pleasing..

I had all my emotions,dont ever think its always this way..

For once,i just want to be rebellious..

Do what i wish,i want...yet not explaining to ppl things..

I am sick of all the shit.BuZZ Off If You're Unhappy.

Mentally drained..

God i am turning mad soon..

I am so tired inside..

I need all the extra strength to continue on...

I dislike acting so strong and ok when i am not...

Sometimes its good to let go of tears,and just cry your heart out when u are tired isn't it...

Suddenly feel everything am going in the opp direction..

I am like a weird freak going in the opp way againist the flow..

I am starting to be so apart from reality when everything i know...

is just work work and work...

So many shit these days making me very tired..

I am walking on with so many burdens..its getting unbearable..

Its time i let go..stop acting so strong when i not...

God i tired..till sometimes i believe its my limit to everything..

I need a break..Can someone just at least understand me...

I just need a peace of mind..this is the least i ask........

Seriously....I..am..very...tired..mentally.

Those were the times...date 2008 Oct

i miss miss miss miss miss times many misses...my batch mates..I accidentally got this pic from my one of the batch mates FB..haiz..so many memories,yet all seem so far away......Wonder how each and everyone of them are doing..wonder how the bitches in silkair are still living there not...If they are...Pray hard that all the bitches stay away from my batch mates..Well..as i am getting on with my life after i left..though life may goes on as it is..To me,some things are just so hard to forget..Its all the memories that i afraid,even in my late eighties..ha..i still wont allow myself to forget...May God blessed all the good people in life..Love u batch 76.

Behind the faces..

I am angry..

Yes..

The feeling of being wrong is super suxy..

Its worse when the person keep inisting i said that..

No time for explanations..

I should just shut my mouth,and practice silence.

What all the shit it is..when you just have to accept things as it is,and pretend nothing wrong.

Smile it through..

I will be more careful next time..

Just perform formality,and cut out all the friendliness..

I should just do that.

10th Feb i accept an intivation...

Wonder how it goes.

A Very Tired but..Happy Day(:

OmG...I am so full now as i am blogging away here!!Just meet up with charlene,bao fang and wendy chai today..Had such a fun time with them..HAhaha..And its been soooo long i have seen charlene..OMG la~!5yrs le ba..Glad that we finally meet up today.She gone for study at aust and now back for a break then fly back again..LOL.

Yupz..Went for shopping at bugis village today with them..Shop for new yr clothes actually..For once,surprisingly,i found clothes i like there!Haa..Cheap cheap too..Unlike last time i always think expensive is always good..(-.-)"'..really wonder what i was thinking last time..Really,after i left silkair..i somehow change in my own character and thinkings.Money earn as a cabin crew was never never easy then..I totally will think twice and thrice as i spent now...

So today was very happening as we practically search the whole of bugis village upside down..Not wasting any bit of good deals in the little corner of each shops..LOL.In the end,wendy is the one who grab all the cheap deals and spent around 50 bucks in all..Charlene too bought a few..Well,as for bao fang..her main goal is only cardigan today..LOL.After which...maKan Time!!We went for a feast at the amk famous crabs!!haha..i shall let the pictures do all the talking..Rite now i am actually quite tired,with a bloated stomach..

Changes....

Shit la...I am starting to hate this pathetic auntie look of me..i m like making excuses for myself ever since i quit silkair..Not an air stewardess le..why bother etc..till now i am quite sick of looking at the messy me in the mirror everytime.I look bloody hell:MEssy..ugLy..make-up less..plain old lady!Yes..I am this disgusted of myself now.

And my hair!omg..Last time i care about it so much..Now its like a bunch of seaweed sticking on my head...Its getting so horrible that i myself have been so busy all these while..until recently i have had enough.I am in the kids industry now..i think all the kids will start running off soon from me..

I suddenly tell myself..2010 resolution,I have to get back my vain me again..Now i am like a heck care old lady~...This is not getting anywhere..Seriously,i hate this me now.What happen to me........No life,no look..no nothing..Everyday is just work..work..and work~!!!

looking like this soon..if i dun care of myself..

觉得。。。

不去想反而更快乐。。
人总是有太多烦恼。。。

突然觉得。。为何要一直比交？
越是不在乎。。其实越在乎。

做自己。。快乐的事。。
有时也是一种简单的快乐。。

我觉得幸福是自己找的。

是时候。。想想自己的事，放下无味的，又多余的烦恼。

开心点吧。。惠。


五月。。去香港。。？？

The ugly truth.

And so on the 1st date of a new year,i learnt..yupz.
No matter how much you do...ppl will nv be contented.
Its after all not about how much effort you tried even...
the reality of it is...how much ppl appreciate you..nope.
Its okay to have the nastiest day on a day..
but it hurts alot when even the closest ones,may not even bother or understands..
God i tried..
i tried so hard till sometimes it hurt.
Maybe i tried it in a wrong way i dun know..
i just know no one understands me.
i am devastated on this very 1st day of the year to realize the ugly truth of life.
Its alright..Really it is...So now i know about truth..and this is it.
i reflect on what i had been tru in 2009...
i fall..climb..fall back there alone...
been tru all the humiliations,and so its alright i tell myself..
But i will nv endure when u tried with so much
effort,yet ppl closest to u treat u like shit..
When kindness is being seen like a shit...its time i pay back equally..
Please do not ever think i will always be the person u will always think and always be there to help so willingly..
When i finally know how ugly
things are,u be sorry i am this nasty.